"Only Those with Wings Can Fathom Joy"

Rotting by the tide line
I laid bare my vision of dying
and pondered,
"is a deeper happiness not seen
but in death?"

The clouds hung too far back
to dampen the battles I fought
My eyes looked tenderly
at the density
upon open veins dripping blood
and wounded wrists pouring truth
I wanted nothing more than to slip
into the sea

I had built a wall embedded with thorns
Ascending so steep
that I could no longer uncover
what I once held within
My spirit, ghostlike and haunting
mocked across a perpetual existence
of a starving body and a thirsty mind

I stared into slanted rain
as my words became meaningless
like letters eaten by swine
The noose, I riveted
lowering my corpse into a sinister berth
Unable and too weak to extend myself
As others' craving became secondary
while I eluded into obscurity

With blackened eyes I recessed
into a hollow grave
as slumber sheltered the light of day
My psyche dismantled against
pastel walls that spoke coercively-
clarifying that life is a choice...
I could recoil as a venomous snake
and drown in the toxins
or seek respite from the tempest
and allow the tethers to unlace

I strained arduously for triumph
Wandering through dense forests
the paths, nearly unbearable
Seeking a renewed breath, a bait
to lure me from my tomb
I was startled by moonlight's grace-
held captive and compelled to "listen"
as mockingbirds crossed the sky
I stood motionless, opening beautiful
a frigid heart
and asked how they sing so sweet
in a world of hatred and failure
they replied,
"only those with wings can fathom joy"