"Beyond My Control"

My weakness causing you pain
Falling each time
I attempt to fly
Again and again
Powerless to triumph
Frozen rank outside of standard

Vile words devour me raw
Slithering through and sever deeply
Coupled with the sinful beast
Of apathy
Carving your own fulfillment
Upon an inert body
Stifled layers of fear and suffering unfolding
Donning an infant’s blanket
In silent comfort

Dark alleys elusive and still
Legs trembling
Unable to gain momentum
Dressed in morbid black
Numbed and interned in a closet
Wedged between two cults of the same
Hell and existence

Knocking on a remedial door
Unheard and forgotten
Banging and kicking
No answer comes
Crookedly positioned in daily regimen
Folding back into script

Veiled out of the tangible world
Mountain’s beauty bringing brief solace
Discarding the concept of nonbeing
Learning to play with fantasy
Stolen moments lost to actuality

Pleading tears dripping
Emotionally stripped
Reaching for warmer hands
To unleash the evil inferno
Of contempt from others
Replaced with a mending key
Of acceptance

Glance outside your ego
I, being no different than you
Once fresh and unmarked
Affect the placement of stars
Existing in a world
Beyond my control
Incoherent to purpose
Non-distinct future

I’ll keep searching for the shore beyond my realm

Until the sun licks the darkness